So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
