you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
