some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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