she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
