I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.