I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.