Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I spit up blood this morning
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.