Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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