i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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