White coat. Heels.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
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