so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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