Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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