Texts From Last Night

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  (386): View more from Florida

  Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"

  (1-386): View more from Florida

  You're going home with him aren't you?

  (386): View more from Florida

  I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house

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  (386): Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!" (1-386): You're going home with him aren't you? (386): I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house http://tfl.nu/c9az
  Replies (12) Good night (1321) Bad night (2918)
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  (530): View more from California

  i'm lost and i look like a hooker

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  (530): i'm lost and i look like a hooker http://tfl.nu/mbk3
  Replies (18) Good night (1468) Bad night (4004)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava

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  (617): His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava http://tfl.nu/q9zi
  Replies (164) Good night (2324) Bad night (3603)
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  (209): View more from California

  what is college for if not random hookup sex?

  (951): View more from California

  learning.

  (209): View more from California

  i would literally fuck learning if i could.

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  (209): what is college for if not random hookup sex? (951): learning. (209): i would literally fuck learning if i could. http://tfl.nu/3rtk
  Replies (50) Good night (9643) Bad night (960)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"

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  (617): college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place" http://tfl.nu/mdbw
  Replies (39) Good night (6173) Bad night (1113)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...

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  (806): A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal" (501): Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him... http://tfl.nu/wsps
  Replies (15) Good night (6163) Bad night (949)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.

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  (908): Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage. http://tfl.nu/uh3k
  Replies (14) Good night (5816) Bad night (1336)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market

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  (919): yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market http://tfl.nu/5w22
  Replies (7) Good night (3780) Bad night (1285)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on

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  (832): You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on http://tfl.nu/zwxm
  Replies (4) Good night (3157) Bad night (716)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.

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  (914): Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way. http://tfl.nu/0tc3
  Replies (1) Good night (1231) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?

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  (714): Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus? http://tfl.nu/oxq8
  Replies (5) Good night (624) Bad night (473)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.

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  (603): I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals. http://tfl.nu/uk0n
  Replies (4) Good night (562) Bad night (1407)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.

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  (440): dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls. http://tfl.nu/46gi
  Replies (4) Good night (791) Bad night (259)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.

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  (219): You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him. http://tfl.nu/eshg
  Replies (3) Good night (1063) Bad night (390)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.

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  (904): Im wearing a bra. Made of paint. http://tfl.nu/e0s1
  Replies (6) Good night (950) Bad night (264)

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