He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.