I want to stick my p in your. b.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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