You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize