can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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