PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
NoShamevember. You game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Congratulations! We have a period
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