Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
