The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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