I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
