i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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