i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
