Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
