She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
