i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
