3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
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'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
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lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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