why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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