How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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