I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
