apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
