captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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