sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
