After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
