I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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