He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
