she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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