You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
