Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
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I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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