I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize