people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
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I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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