i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
