I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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