Hey man sorry I got all grabby
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
