kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
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