I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Randomize
