If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
