oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I checked into jail on foursquare
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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