There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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