why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
