i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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