My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
