i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
