U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
