if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
