Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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