Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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