So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
