You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.