we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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