Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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