Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
