What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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