it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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