found the other keg... it's in the tree
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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