Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Enjoy the penises
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
