You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
No subtext here. People are naked.
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Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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